Reading about the adoption bloggers interview project made me realize that it has been a very long time sine I have spoken about Gabriella's birth family. I can't really explain why that is? I think mainly because they have molded so well into our everyday lives that we don't think of it as a big deal when we talk to them or get together.
Since Gaby was born we have visited with her birth family four times. They came here after the waiting period was over and met all our family. A bit of an emotional visit for everyone but also allot of fun. We took them on a tour of the area. A bit of a walk down memory lane for Nic and I. I know they loved seeing where we live and the area that Gaby would grow up in.
Then in the early spring Nic and I booked a campsite about 15 minutes from where they live and they came and spent a day and night with us on Gaby's very first camping trip. It was allot of fun and Nic and I loved showing A & K a bunch of our fun camping traditions. Growing up in the city they have never done any camping. The girls lead us on a fun hike, we had a delicious bbq and a bonfire that lasted long after Gaby had gone to bed.
The third visit was another camping trip. We were up in their area again camping with my brother and sister in law as well as a good friend from University and her boyfriend. We had planned on stopping at their place on our way home but plans changed and they ended up coming to the campsite on Saturday and having dinner with all of us. I was glad they came because my brother had been away on vacation when they came to our house so they got to meet him and his beautiful wife. Again we eat far too much and talked around the campfire until A started drifting off to sleep in her chair.
Our fourth visit was a sleep over. Nic and I took a week long camping vacation and near the beginning met up with Gaby's birth family at a lake near their house. They took us out on their boat fishing for the afternoon and then we drove back to their house with the camper and spent the night. They made us an amazing meal and we topped it off with a bonfire. They had made a pit in their backyard after camping with us in the spring. Another amazing trip with lots of catching up and laughs. I thought it might be hard for A to see Gaby in her own home but everyone had a nice time and I did not sense that A was uncomforable or upset.
We had also invited them to come here for Thanksgiving two weekends ago. Unfortunately they could not make it but we are hoping to get together again soon. Sometimes life gets in the way of the best made plans.
We still talk once or twice a week on the phone and text regularly. I have tried to keep on top of the blog we have and post pictures a couple times a month as well as put up videos when I get a good one.
Our relationship is no different than the ones we have with our family members and close friends. When we talk we do talk about Gaby but mostly we talk about what is happening in our lives. We are becoming familiar with each others close friends and family and often ask after them in conversation. I am always interested to hear how A and K are doing in school. Even with the few months A took off of school during the end of her pregnancy she managed, with K's help, to not miss out on any credits so started school in September at the same stage as her sister. Both girls also got jobs this summer working at a fast food chain. They do not love the job (who does love their first job) but it is good experience for them until they turn 16 in December and can qualify to apply to more places.
In general I think A enjoys our visits. She is always interested in how Gaby is doing and has lots of questions. She will often spend long amounts of time playing with her and having discussions with K about features Gaby has that are similar to theirs. She likes to hear my stories about funny things she is doing or really loves. I find the way she relates with Gaby is similar to how any girl of her age would. She is fun to play with but she would rather leave the hard stuff to us.
Nic and I love the visits and the chance to reconnect with them. If anything we wish we saw them more frequently but it is difficult to find time to do the almost 3 hour drive (one way) and their schedules make it difficult for them to come here. Hopefully we will see them again before Christmas.
We could not be happier about our decision to have a fully open adoption. I love that I already have a great collection of pictures and mementos for Gaby. I am stock piling everything away so that when she is old enough to understand she can see the story of how we all became a family. It is a very loving, honest relationship and we feel very lucky to have them in our lives.
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